his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
