I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
