Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
