the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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