my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
