If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
