what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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