watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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