matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
