Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
