when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
