u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm going to jail i love you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
