I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
