Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
