I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
