so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
