I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
