I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
