What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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