so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
