Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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