I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
