I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
