we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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