yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
