Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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