i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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