I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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