Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
