Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
