WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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