Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
