Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
pray to the hookup gods
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
