He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
