if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
