Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
