Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
