She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
