i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
