I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Never underestimate the power of titties
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
