i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
