my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
