addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
This house was built for laser tag.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
