I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Still dying that you shit outside
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
