When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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