I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
