I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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