weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
