I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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