I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
