Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
