official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
