Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
