Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
